Day 4/I'msuchasadsack

Wow. So It's day four and I'm feeling it.

Last night was Shoulders and Arms along with Ab Ripper X. The Shoulders and Arms dvd wasn't too incredibly bad, as it gave my aching gams a reprieve, but Ab Ripper X owned me. 15 minutes of ridiculous, embarassing ownage. (Or pwn, in webernet lingo.)

That's ok. I can give up an hour a day. An hour a day isn't too much for me to sacrifice for my health, which is probably in the shitter.

Here's a little story that keeps me motivated. Last year, my Aunt died. She was an AMAZING woman. She was funny, and loud, and had this laugh that was exclusively hers. I'm talking, southern-purple-hatted-lady laugh. When she and my mom got together, it was infectious, and my mom's laugh sort of started to take on qualities of my Aunt's.

Anyway, my aunt was morbidly obese. Her husband (who died from meningitis when I was in the 9th grade) was also morbidly obese. Their daughter, who was 5 years younger than me, picked up their genes. Although they lived far away for most of my life, most of my younger years are filled with memories of them; they were all such amazing people. My aunt eventually moved closer to home, as her obesity-related diabetes had affected her life to the point that she started having to have toes cut off. So she moved home to be closer to family.

One day, after she'd already had her entire foot surgically removed, she had a seizure at home. They called me to the hospital to see her one last time before she passed away. What I saw in her hospital room is now what keeps me going. My aunt, in the hospital bed, was in a coma. Her 19 year old daughter was stroking her head saying, "I love you mama. I love you mama. It's ok, I'm here, I love you." Just typing this now takes me back to that time and place; typing it is living that sadness over again.

She passed away not long after. It was hard on everyone, especially my mom. The reason that tragic situation is a motivator for me, is that it was all weight-related. I don't want Emma, my 3 year old, to have to say good-bye to me 17 years from now as I lay in a hospital bed all because of something I possibly could've prevented. I'm not blaming my Aunt for what happened, not by any means. I don't know her medical OR family history - but I know mine. And I know that that future is one I can prevent for myself and my awesome, wacky kid.


Tonight: Yoga X

Also, I switched from the p90x Lean program to the p90x Classic and last night I got the Body Fortress protein shake for post-workout muscle recovery. Tastes like vanilla ass, but sacrifices gotta' be made.

New schedule:

Weeks 1-3:
Day 1 – Chest & Back, Ab Ripper X
Day 2 – Plyometrics
Day 3 – Shoulders & Arms, Ab Ripper X
Day 4 – Yoga X
Day 5 – Legs & Back, Ab Ripper X
Day 6 – Kenpo X
Day 7 – Rest or X Stretch

Do your best, forget the rest.